Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
