Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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