would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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