The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
