I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
