I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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