If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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