Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
