bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!