Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
