drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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