Texts From Last Night

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  i permit you to call me

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  (575): i permit you to call me http://tfl.nu/5lhr
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (692)
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  (661): View more from California

  Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.

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  (661): Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times. http://tfl.nu/sk4n
  Replies (19) Good night (893) Bad night (3919)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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  (917): fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker http://tfl.nu/ivhi
  Replies (22) Good night (1279) Bad night (3572)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.

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  (732): there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me. http://tfl.nu/v26u
  Replies (10) Good night (3956) Bad night (1035)
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  (646): View more from New York

  They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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  (646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0
  Replies (10) Good night (6967) Bad night (1215)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

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  (513): I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. http://tfl.nu/k06t
  Replies (47) Good night (9950) Bad night (2288)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?

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  (714): I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him? http://tfl.nu/ybyr
  Replies (18) Good night (3911) Bad night (1393)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on

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  (540): it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on http://tfl.nu/dgug
  Replies (23) Good night (5331) Bad night (1320)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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  (207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1592) Bad night (913)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?

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  (224): Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right? http://tfl.nu/9x3c
  Replies (1) Good night (1208) Bad night (518)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.

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  (330): The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg. http://tfl.nu/v4p7
  Replies (3) Good night (1406) Bad night (479)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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  (334): Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex? http://tfl.nu/rvvc
  Replies (23) Good night (1785) Bad night (973)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (565)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration

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  (617): I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration http://tfl.nu/vmlp
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (1201)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.

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  (214): I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports. http://tfl.nu/apdh
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (390)

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