About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream