I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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