oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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