break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.