Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
