Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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