weddingsv make me drug and hornr
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
