i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
