True but thats because hes a fetus.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
