I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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