what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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