My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
