I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am one with the molecules
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize