I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
