lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
