I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
