I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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