Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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