drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
