Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
