wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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