so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
