I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
