He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You are the jesus of drinking
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
