yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
