So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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