Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
