my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
