K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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