Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize