is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
