i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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