The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
