You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
