I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
