I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
