I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
