sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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