We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
