I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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