we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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