Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
