He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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