After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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