I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
