i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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