The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
