jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
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