We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
