Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
