Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
