Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize